Notes from a Short-order Cook

Jim Crawford of the antinatalism blog has added an autobiographical sketch to his right-margin and it’s full of crazy surprises: 

I’m a 52 yr. old Caucasion male. I received what passes for a high
school diploma in California. Worked full-time through my senior year.
My father abandoned me and my four younger brothers right around
graduation day, so I never really had much of a chance at procuring any
fancy learnin’ (not that I ever had much interest, anyhow…pot,
hashish and acid were REALLY cheap back then!). Took a life detour
through most of my twenties-joined a fundy-Christian cult, and became
sort of an itinerant evangelist, before trashing the whole Jesus thang
at 28. Married an African American woman (that lasted 25 yrs…about 7
in the middle were primo!) Had two daughters along the way. Did a lot
of reading for a couple of decades, though not much from any prescribed
or popular reading lists. Zen, quantum mechanics, astrophysics, some
history and psych…that sort of thing. Oh, and scads of sci-fi and
horror. Got divorced in ’02…was actually a kept man up in Spokane, WA
for a year and a half. After that fell through, I was homeless for a
few months, until some drunk kids hit my truck at the stroke of
midnight while I was sleeping in it. Chased them down, got a pittance
of an insurance settlement which got me off the streets. Worked some
minimum wage construction for a couple years, ’til my truck went south,
then landed a gig as a minimum wage short-order cook at a fastfood
Mexican restaurant, where I still work today. Renting a room at my
ex-wife’s to help her pay the mortgage. My current paramour (and
hopefully last, for god’s sake!) is a German woman living 2000 miles
away in Houston. Saved up and bought a laptop last year. Lost my
favorite cat of 14 years earlier this year, and it looks like I’ll be
losing my dearly beloved dog in the next couple of weeks or so
(tumours, and after having spent every cent I had on surgery a few days
before Xmas. It was totally worth it for the extra few months,
but…well, life sucks). I still have two great kids, and a decent
low-end bicycle (Trek), though 600 of my books have been sitting in
boxes in a garage up in Spokane for the last 5 years…not much hope of
ever seeing them again, which pretty much bites. I’ve come pretty close
to dying 2 or 3 times, and have done a fair amount of dangerous work in
my time, involving great heights and iffy equipment. Have contemplated
suicide on a number of occasions (including most of the ’90s, but never
had the fortitude, you know?) Oh, and I wish I loved everybody, and
sometimes I try to, though less these days. I guess that’s about it. Oh
yeah! I’m also a self-proclaimed, ersatz poet.

This
is the first time I’ve ever offered a profile on any of my blogs or
memberships. I thought I’d offer the lever of an unattractive
psychological profile for any challengers to glom onto, since so far
they don’t seem to have much in the way of substantive disagreement to
offer. This is NOT meant as an insult, btw, but please realize…

the
subject of antinatalism is NOT a mere philosophical exercise for me.
I’m not here to get my rocks off as a controversialist. Life sucks, and
then you die, only…considering the risk that any given child might
emerge into a world of personal horror, the trite little saying takes
on a whole new depth of meaning for me. I hope it does for you, as well.

Sorry about the cat, Jim. I reckon I’ll be inconsolable when the first of my seven checks out.

6 thoughts on “Notes from a Short-order Cook

  1. I miss him, Chip; and the thing with my dog has me tight as a drum. The act of putting her down, the fact of her loss…to me, to the kids, and to the other dog, who’s like her child, and has been for 9 years. I’m putting it off until I get the feeling that the pain’s bothering her too bad…hard to tell with animals sometimes. They’re actually quite Stoic.
    BTW, what’s with the blurb? Slow news day? LOLOL! Loved the little beer induced eruption of the other day. Take care…jim

  2. In some respects, I think the loss of a pet is harder. When a friend or family member dies, there is a script. You get a day off work, and people dutifully convey their rehearsed condolences. But with animals, the grief can be so lonely. People don’t seem to understand.
    Hope you don’t mind the pasting. Your life story is sui generis.

  3. Dude, this blog is wicked and marvelously written.
    I couldn’t stop myself from reading all of your post last night, especially the reply at Steven Pinker and ‘fag hag’ were great.
    Great stuff.

  4. Hmm,
    In essence, what I expect the next decade of my life to be like, sans the marriage and children parts.
    Anti-natalism is not the most rewarding of philosophies.

  5. Savrola, whenever I feel like I’m making even the smallest inroad in dissuading someone to procreate, I breathe a little easier. For the understanding and empathetic heart, the rewards are there (though there’s a lot of disappointment, as well). Bon chance!

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